Characters Final Frame

Random Reflections #4

May 9th, 2006

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been to Medieval Times dressed as Conan The Barbarian.  And your loin cloth accidentally fell off?  Only me?  Oh.

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Random Reflections #3

May 8th, 2006

How can we stop bird flu when millions of men continue to be attacked and mauled by back hair?

[tags]bird flu, avian flu, back hair[/tags

Tough Year

May 8th, 2006

Even though I’ve been plagued with a plethora of accidents this year (including an undisclosed stubbed toe), and the death of three family pets; I’m still thankful.  Yep, things have been pretty shaky for me this past year and it shows no sign of stopping.  

It started out when my long time girlfriend dumped me for a computer programmer, a chippendale’s dancer, three auto mechanics, and an accountant whom she seems happy with.  I’m happy for her.  

Although, I’m upset that she punished my “checking in” with a restraining order.   It’s hard to check up from 150 yards.

Then my car was accidentally impounded because I had parked next to Jermaine, my neighbor, who turned out to be a drug dealer.  We speak every Wednesday between 1 and 4, and I often kid him about his gold teeth.  He also made me an honorary “Blood.”   I was flattered.  I also got a cool medal ( I think  it’s a broach he stole from my older next door neighbor, Agnes). 

Unfortunately, Jermaine was arrested for stealing said broach.  My car was impounded because that’s where I put the broach.  They destroyed my car and returned the broach to Agnes.  I was cleared off all charges when Jermaine stood up for me and explained the situation. 

Turns out he had some outstanding warrants, so we won’t be seeing him anytime soon.  Although I hear he’s formed a little rap group in the joint, and I’ll be checking them out next Thursday.  Any way, the state ended up buying me a new car, too bad it was an old Volvo.  It’s like driving a refrigerator box.  

This next message is for Jermaine, when he reads my blog on the internet, courtesy of the Wisconsin taxpayers:

Hey brotha I can’t wait ta see yo show upside yo head. I’m pumped. Wiznill they be messin' soda there? Also, I won’t git raped wizzay I. Oh, n I can bring tizzy key in.

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Random Reflections #2

May 6th, 2006

I believe that Dan Brown plagerized “The Da Vinci Code” from my early manuscript “Jesus And The Gang”  in which I hypothesized that Jesus was the leader of group of street thugs that sang and danced.

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