Characters Final Frame

  • I'm sorry, I can't handle this, please hold.
  • Can we hire MORE foreign customer service representatives?
  • We'll be there sometime between Monday and Friday, guess wisely.
  • And eat it…
  • I love our quasi monopoly.
  • When this promotion ends, let's go ahead and triple the bill.
  • Tease them with a robot before we go giving them a human voice.
  • Our quarterly reports indicate that we've screwed approximately 85% of our customers.  Good work team.
  • What are they going to do?  Put in a dish?

Have any other ideas? Put em' in the comments section!

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Apple iTunes



Adversity Strikes Again


August 30th, 2007

"Adversity Is Like a Prostate Exam, Uncomfortable, But Necessary."
Hudson – 2007 

Semi-Motivational QuotesSemi-Motivational Quotes come directly from the Rib Riot C.E.O, Hudson.  Hudson has used this collection of quotes to inspire and motivate his Rib Riot employees, impress his dates, and to make himself appear smarter than he really is.   They are offered to you free of charge so that maybe you too will be inspired and motivated to accomplish somewhat great things with your life.

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Could You Trim That Mullet?


August 28th, 2007

Keep It In The Closet

In this episode of Keep It In The Closet, Stephen comments on mullets.  And quite frankly, he thinks they're ridiculous.  Stephen flies solo this week, without the help of Raphael, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have a worthwhile opinion on this fashion blunder.

Keep It In The Closet highlights the latest disasters in the fashion world.  Stephen's blunt and straight to the point approach gives you the back door insight into the world of high design.  Press play to listen…

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Apple iTunes



Chinese Sam's Club

Kim and her mother Kwan struggle to pick out the perfect lantern from a  Chinese Sam's Club. 

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  • The good news, I fixed your car.  Bad news it was stolen this morning.
  • You’ve got some of the nicest looking ball bearings I’ve ever seen.
  • Well, we chopped it up and made you an extra fifty dollars.  How about that?
  • Were you planning on driving this ever again?
  • Tires are out, no one’s using tires anymore.
  • You might want to just Febreeze that
  • That stain was already there sir.
  • Oh, we painted your car brown… That’s OK right?

Have any other ideas?  We’d love to hear them.  Just put them in the comments section!

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Rock- Guster



The Fru-GilIn today's episode of The Fru-Gil: Gil's Money Saving Tips, Gil discusses a brand new tip about eyeglasses.  This tip is essential for anyone wearing glasses on a semi-regular basis.  You won't be disappointed.

The Fru-Gil is the Internet's finest source of audio advice on saving money.  Gil has painstakingly perfected and practiced every money saving tip he presents, and they have provided him with  the luxurious life that he never thought was possible.  This could change your life.  Press the play button to listen… 

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The K&J Lemonade Stand: Cool stuff for the young at heart!



Selling Your Old Stocks


August 23rd, 2007

Stocked Up

In this episode of Stocked Up, Vince does a little bit of stock spring cleaning.  How do you clean out stocks you should have sold, and which stocks should you buy before it's too late?  Take a listen to find out.  Vince has the inside scoop.  You don't want to miss this tip.

Stocked Up Stock Tips From Vince highlights the latest trends and turns in the stock market, giving you inside information so you can make millions.  Just press play to listen…

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Apple iTunes



Headlines: August 2007


August 22nd, 2007

Tromboner Hits Flutist In Face With Instrument

BOSTON- A local trombone player, Edwin Maxwell, nailed flutist, Natalie Fieldman in the face earlier this month during a rehearsal for an orchestral performance of Flight of the Bumble Bee.  Fieldman was carted of with a bloody nose, and said it felt like getting punched in the face. Maxwell apologized, and is reportedly paying more attention to where he sticks his trombone.

Special Report: Fire Still Hot

SAN FRANCISCO – Yesterday a group of scientists concluded that fire was indeed, still hot.  Professor Altman stated in his conclusion that, "This stuff can seriously mess you up, and all reports of fire cooling off are false."

Grandma Buys Playstation 3; Head Explodes

LINCOLN – Eighty five year old, Agnes Richardson's head exploded earlier this week after purchasing a Playstation 3.  Richardson had no previous experience with video game consoles and as a result, the experience blew her mind… literally.  Her last words were, "Holy Moses!"  

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Jamaica Me Tan Radio Jingle


August 21st, 2007

This jingle was commissioned by a small tanning salon in central Illinois, called Jamaica Me Tan.  Clever eh?  It was to debut on the local radio station, but was withdrawn by the company just prior to airing.  Apparently they weren't happy with the final product and demanded their money back.  It never aired…

The Rib Riot staff was hired to write some radio jingles in order to make a little extra cash.  For whatever reason these jingles were rejected by the companies that commissioned them.  They have been locked away in a vault until now.  Our marketing department wants some feedback as to why these jingles may have been rejected.  Press play to listen…

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Voicemail From Hudson In this message left for Macy's Department Store, Hudson inquires about returning some cologne he purchased.  Can cologne even be returned?

Voice Mail From Hudson, is a collection of recorded messages that Hudson has left on answering machines.  The tapes were collected by the federal government during their investigation of Rib Riot's unclaimed income taxes.  The surveillance was dropped when it became apparent that Rib Riot wasn't making an income to claim.

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