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Headlines: September 24, 2007

September 24th, 2007

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Third Grade Production of Othello Sucks
HARTFORD – A production of Othello performed by the third graders of Grover Cleveland Grade School sucked according to several unimpressed parents. Bernard Jeffries, complained that his son, "Jacked up the lines."

Oprah Plans To Give Away African Countries
CHICAGO – In this year's episode of Oprah Winfrey's My Favorite Things Show, Oprah plans to give away an African country to each member of the audience. The countries were purchased for very little and will be coupled with some hand lotion in a gift bag from Saks Fifth Avenue.

Next James Bond To Be Asian?
TOKYO – Japan is pulling strongly for the next James Bond to be Asian. They argue that if the British Agent can be blonde, surely he can be Asian. The Japanese site the success of You Only Live Twice in which Sean Connery pretends to be Asian.

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