Here is a random smattering of photos. I figured I'd put these up on the internet myself before someone else did. If anyone's going force my family into shame it's going to be me…
Here I am with a gentleman caller. He was a bit handsy.
Here I am with Marilyn Monroe. She's holding up well for her age, although her skin is a bit waxy. See, I do know celebrities.
Here I am growing a mustache for Make-A-Wish, and for this new porn racket I got into. I also bought a van with a couch in it shortly after this picture was taken. Seriously, it was for the kids.
Here I am with Balto in what was supposed to be a private moment that we shared. Until we broke up and he plastered it all over his blog. I thought we respected each other enough… Apparently not. I'm going to be the bigger man and keep the revealing photos I have private. Let's just say Lassie isn't the girl next door.
Here is a picture of me wearing an ice cream turbin, or a dog poo cone… You decide. Oh and that's my beautiful wife Katie licking said ice cream/poo.
Here I am tweaking Lady Liberty's nipple. I can reveal to you that she's ticklish and that she's pretty ripped. Oh, and she talks like a man, but she's one hell of a cuddler.
Here's what happens after a couple Mike's Hard Lemonades and little game of spin the bottle with Goofy, Tigger, and Pooh. Just wait until I pull out the shots I have of Piglet.