Rib Riot

Well, football season is almost upon us, and as always I have my "must have" fantasy football players for the season.  If by some fluke you should happen to get all of these players, you will no doubt win your league championship.  Oh, and don't come back here complaining when one of my picks doesn't work out.  I'm not the oracle at Delphi, and you didn't pay for my expertise.  Anyway, on with the show…

Quarterbacks

1. Michael Vick – After a shaky off-season, he should be ready for a solid year.  Lord knows he's competitive. 

2. Roger Clemens – "The Rocket" has an arm like no other.  He should rack up some serious yardage this year.

3. Adam Sandler – After beating the prison guards in a scrimmage, he should be ready for the NFL.  He will definitely have an immediate impact on the league.

Running Backs

1. 'Pacman' Jones – I predict a full season of touchdowns and wrestling defenders into submission.

2. O.J. Simpson – Even though his salary will be heading to the Goldman family this season, he should still produce solid numbers.

3. Carl Lewis – In a word: He's fast.  Definitely a feature back.

4. Barry Bonds – Even though he's not popular with the fans.  He should breaks some records this year.  All time touchdown mark anyone?

Wide Recievers

1.  Terrell Owens – With Tuna out of  the way, this playmaker will soar.  You might want to consider starting him at quarterback as well.

2.  Steve Largent – A fantastic white playa.  He takes care of bidness, and there's no denying it.

3.  Willie Mays – This cat has great hands.  Over the shoulder catches?  Forget about it.

Tight Ends

1. Carmen Electra – Kidding.  Although she does have a tight end, if you know what I mean. Wink.

2. Jeramy Stevens – A respectable gentleman on and off the field.  Take him to grandma's house, and put him on your team.

3. Mike Ditka – End of story.

Kickers

1. David Beckham – His excellent leg work is sure to win some games and rack up some goals. 

2. Steve Nash – Even though I disagree with the haircut, he's still one of the finest kickers in the league.

3. Todd Sourdough – He's a chiseled veteran, can't go wrong with that.

Defenses

1. Chicago Bears – Seriously, who else could you put here?

2. Detroit Pistons – Always impressive on the defense side of the ball.  With Rasheed Wallace holding down the fort, they are a solid investment.

3. New York Rangers – Even though Gretzky doesn't play defense, he's still a threat. 

Thanks for checking out my picks, now go forth and prosper.

(Editor's Note: Ricky's selections have not been verified.  Some of the players above may be inactive, retired, injured, dead, non-existent or play for entirely different sports.  Please do not make any wagers with these picks.) 

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