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I Came Out!

November 14th, 2005

| Thoughts On...

ParadeWell, I might as well tell everyone.  I’ve been keeping it in for a while and it’s hurting.  Real bad.   I haven’t told my parents yet, and I’m pretty sure that my brothers don’t know.   

I’ve struggled with it for years, trying to hide it, but it’s been difficult.  I’m sure some people might have suspected something, but I’ve never told anyone flat out, that I’m…. uh…. let’s just say that the amount of awkward positions I’ve been put in because of this is staggering.  

On the whole it’s been rough, but I struggled through it and tried to make the best of it.  I mean, I’ve been through some stuff, but I’m not going down that road.  I’m not always proud of this, but it’s who I am and I can’t change that.  Some people might say that I’m dirty or disgusting, but I just know me as me.  I try to bathe regularly, but that really has nothing to do with this.  Alright,  I’m just going to say it.  

It’s true, I'm a generic brand foods buyer.  

Ok, there, I said it.  I buy Mountain Thunder instead of Mountain Dew.  I drink Bubba Cola instead of Coca Cola.  And yes, I’ve even eaten potato chips from a yellow bag that said “POTATO CHIPS” in black letters.  The bag was so inexpensive that they couldn’t afford to print the nutritional facts on it.  I’ve had breakfast from a cereal BAG that contained no prizes.  

So there you have it.  Judge me if you want.  You can sit there with your Frosted Flakes and think that what you’re doing is right, and that’s fine, just don’t bother me.  I’ll be eating my Frosted Flicks.  
I don’t know maybe it’s genetic or maybe I’m an attention seeker.  I don’t know.  I do know that it feels better to be out.  I could shout it from a mountain top, or any structure that rises above eye level.  I’m happy and relieved.  

I can sleep without fear of another Doritos Nightmare, just because I prefer Nacho Cheese Tortilla Chips (Yellow Bag).  So the next time, you come over I’ll be wearing my bell bottom pants, glitter and we’ll be eating Hydrox cookies.  

I’m sorry Mom and Dad, but this is how God made me.  I’m confident that you’ll still love me, and I hope people don’t start talking back home.  I would hate for this to tarnish your good name.   Anyway, I’m out about it and I’m happy.

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One Response to “I Came Out!”

  1. Ryan M. Theodore Logan Ziegler, Esq. Says:

    I am so proud of you Douglas! Your bravery is inspiring!

    Generic brand foods are IN!

    I use generic condoms myself. You can have your fancy Trojans – I’ll take my ultra huge pack of Mr. Shhh any ole day of the week. 30 rubbers for 1.99! How can you beat that! And they are almost 22 percent effective!

    My favorite are the mesh ones!

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