Characters Final Frame

Dried FlowersIn this day of the modern woman, how can women still be fascinated by flowers that have been dried like a piece of beef jerky?

And how much of my grandmother’s perfume are they going to spray on them?  Trust me ladies there’s enough.  I could smell that through a gas mask.  Most american males are highly allergic to this pungent aroma.  It’s almost Kryptonite.

When will the obsession stop?  In researching this topic, I found a heart wrenching story to some and a joyous occasion to most from Deb:

"I live in Nebraska, and there are little brown moths that appear out of nowhere, and they love to feast on dried flowers.  About 5 years ago I had an epidemic.  Has anyone ever experienced this, and if so what did you do to stop the manifestation?  I had to throw everything away.  It was heartbreaking."

I’m sure it was Deb.  It appears that the population of dried flowers is waning thanks to the  work of the friendly invisible moths that “appear out of nowhere.”  If I could  give the head moth a pin for his duties I would, but I’m afraid the pin would just burst through his tiny thorax.  So congratulations to the moth or team of moths that ravaged through Deb’s collection.  Unfortunately, these moths declined to comment in order to keep their anonymity, in the hopes of destroying more dried flowers.

It would seem that the population of women enjoying the horrendous aroma of dried flowers is faltering, but a new epidemic is arising.  Scrap booking.

Scrap booking has now become a multi-dollar business.  For the uninformed, it involves the cutting up of pictures and construction paper to make pretty little designs.  It is most commonly enjoyed by women and very decorative men.  I’m concerned.

Do you know who likes scrap booking?  Kidnappers.  Kidnappers invented scrap booking while figuring out a festive and cute way to present ransom notes.

So what can we do?  It’s almost for certain that women and kidnappers are joining forces and raging a full scale war against the common man.  My biggest fear is that scrap bookers everywhere might get the crazy idea to add dried flowers to their books.   Then where would we be?

I can only hope that a new breed of scrapbook and dried flower eating moths can control the assault and send Deb and her friends back to a state of heartbrokenness.

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