Characters Final Frame

Stocked Up

I know what you’re thinking you filth maggots. “Hey Vince, every sales loser in my life has told me not to lie!” Welcome to a new era in selling where accountability is thrown out the window, and ethics have disappeared in the Hudson like Freddie ‘Four Fingers’ Spicoli.

I lie to every prospect I meet and my sales have quadruplified. How does this work? I’ll tell you how it works.

I’m free to say whatever pops into my enormous brain and say anything I think the prospect wants to hear. Can our product increase profits? Of course it does. Will our product cure cancer? You bet your life it will!

It’s a simple philosophy that leads to sales.

I don’t know how much easier I can make it for you monosyllabic numbskulls. Let me put it this way, if salesman couldn’t lie, they wouldn’t sell a thing. That’s not a very good salesman is it?

So, fannie pants, you’re feeling a little queasy about lying to humans? Here are a few tips to help you start lying.

  • Mumbling isn’t technically lying.
  • Put your lies in pamphlets, everyone knows it’s impossible for books to lie.
  • Talk in a funny voice.
  • Bring a knife to your next sales call and you’ll be able to say whatever you want.

So know that you’ve been enlightened, go forth and sell, sell, sell! Are there any ways that you can lie to close your next deal?

Always Be Closing is a collection sales tips from Vince’s personal sales playbook called, “Just Buy It: Or I’ll Stab You.”

Technorati Tags: , , ,

Leave a Reply