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Always Be Closing

As most of you mental midgets know, people buy things based on emotions, not logic. And what’s the number one emotion that leads to a sale?

Fear! You jag bags!

That’s why I scare all potential clients. Keep in mind mongoloids, you haven’t done your job properly unless your prospect needs new pants or cries like a Sallie Mae.

So, Vinnie, how can I scare the man out of my clients? Good question.

Now you’re learning.

Shouting is a must. Leave the jokes, conversation, and relationship building for untalented hacks. Here are some of the supplies I’d recommend:

Duct tape, rope (synthetic or steel), a sharp knife or shiv, a car battery, a gallon of gasoline, a match book, a cinder block, and a small boot pistol.

Hey Vincent! Where am I gonna put all this junk? Good question.  It’s simple.  The last part of the kit is a body bag. I shouldn’t have to go into a whole mess of detail on properly using these supplies to get a confession/sale.

It’s pretty simple.

If you still don’t understand, stop reading, you’re wasting your time. If you’re having second thoughts about doing this yourself, I don’t have any problem with reinforcements. If you don’t have the stomach for it, outsource it. You can find a slew of reputable hit men available throughout the country.

Is it right to play on a customer’s fear? What about the fear of loss? What about the fear of loss of a finger?

Always Be Closing is a collection sales tips from Vince’s personal sales playbook called, “Just Buy It: Or I’ll Stab You.”

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